THE DEATH OF A JAYBIRD

Jodi M. Savage is an employment discrimination attorney, diversity & inclusion professional, and writer in New York City. She was born and grew up in Brooklyn, New York. Her essays have been published in The Huffington Post, Catapult, Kweli Journal, the VIDA Review, WSQ: Women’s Studies Quarterly, Wear Your Voice Magazine, The Establishment and MadameNoire. Jodi was awarded the Aging Mind Fellowship from the Writers’ Colony at Dairy Hollow and a residency at the Storyknife Writers Retreat. She was a participant on the panel “Getting Started, When You Just…Can’t…Even” at the 2019 SLICE Literary Conference. She also moderated the “Women Writing Trauma” panel at the 2018 Kweli International Literary Festival.

“In this impassioned and unforgettable collection of essays, Jodi M. Savage explores the joy, beauty, and sadness that fill the lives of three generations of women, some who love too much, and others struggling to love and be loved. Telling her own astonishing story, along with her mother’s and grandmother’s, Savage’s essays are filled with the hard-earned wit and wisdom of a writer on a revelatory journey that makes us laugh out loud while also moving us to tears. You will read these essays again and again, just to remain a bit longer in Savage’s delightful and healing company.” —Edwidge Danticat, author of Brother, I’m Dying and Everything Inside, winner of the 2023 PEN/Malamud Award for Excellence in the Short Story, the National Book Critics Circle Award, the Story Prize, and the 2020 Vilcek Prize in Literature

“Throughout, Savage writes as if speaking with a friend, relating her experiences, and that of others, with sincerity. Readers of all backgrounds are certain to appreciate her struggles and her ability to cope with the challenges she has faced. Raw, honest, and heartbreaking.” —Kirkus Reviews

“As someone who was raised by both my mother and my grandmother, I was laid bare by Jodi Savage’s tender and tumultuous recounting of her relationships with her mother and grandmother. The moving essays in The Death of a Jaybird are at once beautifully singular and representative of Black women’s experiences coping with love, loss, and grief.” —Deesha Philyaw, author, The Secret Lives of Church Ladies, winner of the PEN/Faulkner Award for Fiction, the Story Prize, LA Times Book Prize, and finalist for the National Book Award for Fiction 

“In this collection of poignant and beautifully rendered essays, the wholeness of relationships between mothers and daughters comes alive in their true complexity, whether holding their volatility or their immense teachings of love. This book pulses like a bold, beating heart, and Jodi M. Savage’s wit, profound humanity and abiding love for her foremothers illuminate how harrowing forces of religion, drug-addiction, and life-threatening illness—reflect not only how things have been, but offer a chance to reimagine what the future can be.” —Tanaïs, author of In Sensorium: Notes for My People, winner of the 2022 Kirkus Prize for Nonfiction

“It’s one thing to grieve one’s mother after she has died, quite another to grieve her even as she lives. In this witty and moving collection centered on the complicated love between three generations of Black women, Jodi Savage does both with compassion and grace. The Death of a Jaybird is a timely reminder about the power of narrative to soothe our souls.” —Kim McLarin, author of Everyday Something Has Tried to Kill Me and Has Failed

“The Death of a Jaybird is an exquisite and moving meditation on mothering and care across generations, on the complicated power of Black spiritualities and communities, and on resiliency in the face of trauma, illness, and grieving. Savage offers an unforgettable portrait of Black Pentecostal faith through her account of her grandmother’s life, love, and lessons.” —Judith Weisenfeld, Agate Brown and George L. Collord Professor of Religion and Chair, Department of Religion, Princeton University

“Jodi Savage’s debut essay collection is a moving testament to her matriarchal lineage and a refreshingly honest account of what it’s like to move through grief, love, and resilience. She writes about the complicated spaces one occupies as a daughter and granddaughter with grace, wit, and a faith that can only be found in words.” —Michele Filgate, editor of What My Mother and I Don’t Talk About 

“In this masterful memoir-in-essays, Jodi Savage pays tribute to the indomitable spirit of her grandmother, whose fiery Pentecostal faith is only matched by her abiding love for her granddaughter. With razor-sharp wit and a compassionate eye, Savage explores her journey away from her childhood faith, her path to healing from breast cancer, and her tumultuous relationship with her mother, whose battle with addiction tested their bonds. Deeply grounded in the reality of what it is to be a Black woman in America, The Death of a Jaybirdis a testimony to the redemptive strength of radical acceptance. Savage’s clear-eyed love for her complicated family radiates from the page.” —Jessica Wilbanks, author of When I Spoke in Tongues 

1. In “What If: On Black Lives and Mental Health,” discuss the kinds of experiences Jodi and Granny have with the police after Granny begins experiencing symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease? What kind of encounters do other Black people experiencing psychotic episodes have with the police? How do these encounters differ from Jodi and Granny’s?
2. What do Jodi and Granny’s experiences reveal about how police can improve their interactions with individuals who have a mental illness or diminished mental capacity?
3. Discuss Jodi’s complicated relationship with her Pentecostal upbringing and her evolving faith. How might other Black women and sexual abuse survivors relate to her experiences and perspectives?
4. What role does Granny’s Pentecostal faith play in how Jodi grieves after Granny passes away?
5. In “How to Attend a Black Funeral,” Jodi writes, “Black folks love pomp and circumstance.” Discuss some of the ways Black people honor and celebrate their loved ones at a Black funeral or homegoing.
6. How does Jodi and Cheryl’s relationship change after Granny’s Alzheimer’s disease diagnosis, as Granny is dying, after Granny passes away, and after Jodi’s breast cancer diagnosis? How does Cheryl’s drug addiction impact the relationship between her and Jodi?
7. What do Jodi, Cheryl, and Granny’s relationships teach us about establishing boundaries in familial relationships and second chances?
8. What does the phrase “die the death of a jaybird” mean? What are its origins?
9. Discuss the significance of jaybirds in Southern Black folklore and birds in the Yoruba religion?
10. In “A Laying on of Hands,” discuss the significance of hands in healing, prayer, health care, and expressing love and affection.
11. How does Granny honor deceased friends and family members in her writing? Discuss ways of using writing as a way to mourn.
12. What are some examples of how Jodi grieves the loss of Granny and Cheryl before they pass away? How did she process and cope with their illnesses and imminent deaths?
13. How does Cheryl cope with, and prepare for, her imminent death?
14. How is Jodi’s grief and anxiety about her breast cancer diagnosis and Cheryl’s imminent death represented in her dreams?
15. What documents from Jodi’s family archives does she write about? What do these family documents reveal about her family? How do these revelations impact her and her relationships with the women in her family?
16. Granny, Cheryl, and Jodi were all raised by someone other than their mothers. How does this legacy of maternal abandonment and child loss impact: 1) the three women individually; 2) their relationships with their mothers; 3) their relationships with each other; and 4) their relationships with Aunt Jennye and Aunt Lil?
17. Jodi, Cheryl and Granny were all sexually abused as children. How does this trauma impact their relationships with each other, their mothers, and other family members? What do their experiences tell us about how sexual abuse is oftentimes addressed in families?
18. Jodi writes that she does not want to be a mother. What factors and life experiences do you think influenced her decision to remain childfree? What are some societal pressures for women to have children and how does Jodi counter them?
19. In “I’m Not a Slut in the Street,” Jodi writes: “A Black woman’s primary objective when obtaining medical care is to avoid being treated like a slut in the street.” What does she mean by this? What are some challenges and health disparities often experienced by Black patients, particularly Black women, when seeking medical care? What challenges do Jodi and Granny encounter when seeking medical treatment and what role do stereotypes related to race, gender, age, socioeconomic status, religious faith, and other factors play in those medical interactions?
20. What are some things Black people often do to avoid being treated like “a slut in the street” when seeking medical care?
21. Discuss some perceptions about mental illness that exist within the Black community. Do Jodi and Granny share these beliefs? How do their experiences with, and beliefs about, mental illness change over time and why?
22. In “The Things She Left Behind,” how does Jodi’s anticipatory grief and grief after Granny’s death contribute to her hoarding? What is the connection between grief, memory, and hoarding?
23. In “Some Useful Advice for Going to Meet Your Dead Loved One and Other Tragedies,” Jodi writes, “I have never been more aware of my singleness than when Granny was dying.” What experiences made her more aware of her singleness?
24. In “Some Useful Advice for Going to Meet Your Dead Loved One and Other Tragedies,” Jodi quotes an excerpt from June Jordan’s essay “Ruth and Naomi, David and Jonathan”: “This is the love of women. This is the mighty love that is saving my life.” Like Jordan, Jodi experiences the mighty love of women during her breast cancer journey. How does Jodi’s view of feminism, the Strong Black Woman trope, the need for community, and the importance of female friendships evolve? What influenced her understanding of these concepts and her evolution?
25. How does Jodi demonstrate radical acceptance of the women in her family? How can practicing radical acceptance benefit us and those we love?