ENOUGH ALREADY

Valerie Bertinelli is a Golden Globe and Emmy Award-winning actress, an author, a chef, and a television host. She starred in the hit tv shows One Day at a Time, Touched by an Angel, and Hot in Cleveland and is the author of Losing It: And Gaining My Life Back One Pound at a Time, Finding It: And Satisfying My Hunger for Life Without Opening the Fridge, and Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I Am Today. She is also the host of Valerie’s Home Cooking and Kids Baking Championship with Duff Goldman on the Food Network.

1.What does Bertinelli say that she sees this book as a “deeper understanding” (page 2) of? Instead of “controlling what [she puts] into [herself]” (page 2) what does she say that she is trying to embrace? What mindset does she believe that her previous books reflected and how is this one different? What “landmines” does she want to set aside and what values does she want to embrace? What does she say that she wants to emphasize, and what does she realize that life is all about in the end?

2.  What are some of the things on the author’s September 2019 “(Try) To-Do List”? How does it compare to her May 2021 To-Do List? If you were to create a similar list, what items and actions would you include?

3.  In the chapter titled “The Clock Is Ticking” when Bertinelli’s ex-husband visits their son’s home, what gesture does the author overthink? What does she wish she was more comfortable doing? As she looks back on her relationship with Eddie Van Halen what does she say endured throughout the four decades they shared? What “ironic thing” (page 13) happened after they split?

4.  What bothers Bertinelli about her life on the eve of turning sixty years old? What question does she want to know the answer to? What does she begin to think that her real calling might be and how does she respond to this? What conclusions does she ultimately come to about joy as an end goal? What does Bertinelli say that she realized most of her issues stem from? (page 50)

5.  Explore the evolution of Bertinelli’s relationship with food. What does she reveal about her relationship with food earlier in her life? When does this begin to change? How do her new career as a tv food show host, her trip to Italy, and her work on a cookbook influence her relationship with food? Consider your own relationship with food. How would you describe it? How has it changed or evolved throughout your life?

6.  What one problem does Bertinelli say that she had at the end of the process of making her cookbook? What does she mean when she says that she had started a “new conversation” (page 82) with herself and “had to figure out what [she] was hearing” (page 82)? What deeper questions does making the cookbook prompt her to ask of herself? How does she ultimately deal with the imposter syndrome she feels? Have you ever felt imposter syndrome in your own life? If so, how did you deal with this?

7.  Why does the author say that she wants to look at herself “the way that Leon looks at [her]” (page 93)? After that, instead of stepping on the scale as she used to do, what does she decide to do instead? What does Bertinelli realize was the moment she first began to question her self-image? What does she learn about the stories told to us by others and the stories that we tell ourselves?

8.  Explore the motif of grief. What does Bertinelli mean when she says that she was “born into grief” (page 99)? What message does she feel that she received so early on her about her role in life? How does she change this narrative? When Bertinelli is older, how does she deal with her own grief after losing loved ones? What does the grieving experience teach her about love and joy?

9.  In “A Room with A View” why does Bertinelli say that “[her] house has been [her] way of getting inside [herself]” (page 123)? What improvements did she make to her new home and how did she feel that they reflected her own evolution? What was the most important takeaway from her home renovation project? What does Bertinelli mean when she says that everyone has a room with a view? What does she say is the best window through which to look at one’s self and the world?

10.  What is the Twenty-One Gram Diet and how does it nourish the soul? What is the goal of this particular diet? What seven values does Bertinelli suggest that we focus on daily during the week? What does the author say will happen on the seventh day of this “diet” if we make the effort on the previous six days?

11.  Why does Bertinelli feel that it is so important to learn how to listen? What does she say was there all along that she just couldn’t hear? When does she believe that she finally started learning how to listen and how does this change her life?

12.  At the conclusion of the book, what is Bertinelli ultimately saying enough already to and what does she suggest that we say enough already to? How does this mantra make a statement not only about what needs to change but about recognizing our inherent value and realizing that we are already enough?